03.11.20 Pt 1 - Is it important for all first wives to be good looking from now on? Sean Connery was not a man for small talk, and that's why he's the only Bond that should ever be recognised. Boris Johnson might just be too soft to be Prime Minister. Should one be fired for being a dickhead? Fifth Avenue has a message for the citizenry... vote - don't steal Gucci bags!
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02.11.20 Pt 2 - What are some of the perks of being the President of America? Cancel culture might be coming for Sean Connery even though he's dead... there is no place to hide - if they want to cancel you, they will cancel you. Is it reasonable for functional adults to be afraid of lightning? Are you ready to write a eulogy if your best friend dies? Why are horror films so popular? The holidays are almost here, but can people afford to go to their usual destinations over the festive period?
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02.11.20 Pt 1 - Old folks love the pharmacy... aches and pains no longer need to be a part of life. Every year, Halloween costumes go to another level - how was the pandemic version of the spooky holiday? If your breasts aren't being held up by being self-tied while you trip on acid, are you actually living your best life? The Jolly Roger is where all madness begins, it's the cesspool of low expectations. The real James Bond has passed away... RIP Sean Connery.
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30.10.20 Pt 1 - Does having a fancy name ensure you'll have a better career? Gareth shares his latest bad names... some sound like medication for a dodgy rash. Learn about some cool new features on your phone. Is being eaten by an animal the most humiliating way to die? Join Theresa's Touch Your T's campaign for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
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30.10.20 Pt 1 - Health issues can be a tough pill to swallow. If you're getting on in years... don't go buying any green bananas. It's been a while since Leigh-Ann has had any 'penis colada'. Find out why gloves might be the best gift at a Kitchen Tea. And turns out Siya is a Halloween grinch!
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27.10.20 Pt 2 - Is homeschooling an option for most people, or is Pythagoras' Theorem best left to people who know what's what? If your life is established, would you want a new partner later in life... or are you single to the death? Is anyone proud to work for the South African government? If you don't fix potholes in Durban, the people will make you reap what they sow. Owls are not a solution to your rodent problem in Africa, they are the 11th plague.
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27.10.20 Pt 1 - Today we need to clarify who the king is. Should we still keep maiden names, or is that a thought best left in the 12th century? If you have aged badly don't be sad, the people who used to love you for your looks are just as sad. If you want to be happy, choose ugly friends so you always get the attention.
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26.10.20 Pt 2 - Every time some 11-year-old with a luminous vest tells you when you can cross the street at a school, please understand you are witnessing the training of the next generation of Karens. We call it scholar patrol, but it's an incubator for busybodies who will one day want to see the manager. Stop farting people... you're contributing to a methane bomb which is destroying the Earth!
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26.10.20 Pt 1 - Sihle Zikalala and the government are threatening to take Christmas away from South Africans. What is now clear is that corporates cannot deal with even an ounce of controversy. An 11-year-old has put her list together for Santa... and it's amazing. If Slovenia gets the US launch codes, it will be because Donald let the enemy in.
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Big Polls and Great Erections
04.11.20 Pt 1 - If you're a sports fan, how do you feel about recycled answers from knucklehead sportsmen? Are the US Elections a reality show, or the key to the most powerful political seat on Earth? Which soapie has the best theme song in history? The Twitter guy has a beard that makes him look like a feral man child. While you watch the US Elections, you should also consider which of the world's erections are your favourite...
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