09.02.24 Pt 1 - Gareth goes off after the State of the Nation Address last night, and Candice Mama has some words for Oprah after finding out she lost weight using Ozempic, which is sweeping SA at the moment. Ben attended a cricket match last night, and gives us this weekend’s fix of sport.
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MKT talks about James' exercise routine and how that is going for him. In the wake of the Coronavirus Pandemic, MKT spares a thought for our brothers in Europe, who cannot come experience the 'culture' in Africa. There's a certain tribe of women in South Africa that you should tread carefully with at all times. Arsenal are a laughing stock and MKT tells us why? Would Helen Zille be the perfect bodyguard?
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The old aristocracy of Europe, the dying embers of which glow faintly in the monarchies of the West and whose blood dilutes itself in far-flung corners of old empires, used to pride itself on something called 'noblesse oblige’ - the idea that to those whom much is given, much is expected. The idea here was to protect, teach and give succour to those in your care: An accountability for others in exchange for the privileges that fell upon you. Many wicked men failed to live up to this, but a great many more tried, and succeeded - so much so that to be called noble or a gentleman became the highest aspiration of all...
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21.12.20 Pt 2 - Have you considered whether or not the Covid vaccine is Halal? It’s important at this point to recognise that the word “pork” means many things. Turns out Barack Obama likes South African music, while Sasha Obama has hood tendencies. Heard of Miriam Rodríguez? She’s a Mexican mash up of Rambo and Batman. How much would you pay to destroy something to which Donald Trump is linked?
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21.12.20 Pt 1 - The South African beach restrictions debate rages on! It’s been a year that’s driven us to drink, but seriously - it’s 2020. should we still be engaging in drinking competitions? Hypothetically speaking, if the US President and his entourage are killed, is there a backup plan for someone else to keep lying to us? And finally - sometimes leftovers just taste better.
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03.11.20 Pt 1 - Is it important for all first wives to be good looking from now on? Sean Connery was not a man for small talk, and that's why he's the only Bond that should ever be recognised. Boris Johnson might just be too soft to be Prime Minister. Should one be fired for being a dickhead? Fifth Avenue has a message for the citizenry... vote - don't steal Gucci bags!
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15.10.20 Pt 1 - It is now summer in the southern hemisphere, and people are thirsty out here, in every sense. If you are home by 10pm from a big night out, you are old. It seems the antichrist is a talk show queen. If you started a relationship in lockdown, and you're still in that relationship, just get married. Divorce is for rich people, the rest of us just suffer in misery. If you want to be happy... zithande!
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13.10.20 Pt 2 - Why would anyone believe Oprah over and above the word of their own father? And to be clear, that's your father the Lord God, and indeed your biological father - it seems Oprah trumps both for some. Are plants a gift or a burden? Blind History returns... and this week we feature South African titan Paul Kruger.
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01.10.20 Pt 1 - There is something to being the Anti-Oprah because good news isn't always the best news. Is politics the new religion? The US Presidential Debate was a reboot of Grumpy Old Men. Melania Trump showed a little bit of humanity and romance, she touched Donald's shoulder... what a saucy mama! And what is the logical argument for trucks?
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I’m Sam I am give me my Christmas Ham
22.12.20 Pt 1 - Machines don’t make mistakes, and (with all due respect), you're the idiot if you forget your password. The team chats about which Christmas traditions are non-negotiable. Sam Smith is undergoing a transition and has a tricky request - because it needs a womb in order to be fulfilled. And pilots: heroes of the sky, or glorified bus drivers?
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